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missreader

Miss Reader

Every book is a new journey to embark on. I mainly read romances, but I dabble in other genres too.

SPOILER ALERT!

Fated

Fated - S.G. Browne

Oh boy, where do I start. Let's start with what I did like about this book.

For what it was, I sort of liked the storyline. It kept me reading until the end (The ending, however, I didn't like, but I'll get to that later).

Secondly, it's very easy to read so the book goes by very quickly. It took me only two days to read this without putting much effort.

And uh... that's it.

This book had a lot of potential to be something meaningful and clever, but it's got some major issues.

Let's start with the characters, because I think this is the most poorly done part of the novel.

The main protagonist is Fate, who also goes by Fabio. I absolutely detested this guy and found him to be pathetic. Mainly because he did not fall in love in Sara like he so claims. All he really did was have sex with her throughout the entire book. Plus, he stalks her. Yep. He hardly builds a relationship with her other than being her immortal, hot boyfriend that she bangs regularly.

On the other end, you can tell that Sara is just there to serve as Fabio's girlfriend. She hardly has a life of her own—no friends, no hobbies—nothing else to her at all except she's a realtor and is on the path of destiny and for some reason she's able to make people smile just by being around (she's supposed to be special). I do not understand why she likes Fabio in the first place. There wasn't any real reason given. For goodness sake, when Fabio (a complete stranger to her) told her he stalked her, this was how she reacted:


"I've been stalking you," I say.

Probably not the best way to put it, but there you have it.

She looks at me, not laughing because she thinks I'm making a joke, but just staring, studying me, making me feel like I should get up and leave.

"Really?" she asks.

I nod.

"Since the subway?"

I nod again. I only started stalking her afterward. Which should be good for something.

She stares at me in silence long enough for me to think that I might have to ask Memory for a favor so I don't end up with a police record. Then Sara smiles and says, "I've never been stalked before."

"Is that good or bad?" I ask.

"Good," she says, the word coming out so soft and sultry it almost sounds like she's purring. "Definitely good."

p80, Fated


Say what? Is this supposed to funny? Because I think not. Fabio says this after the first time they have sex, which occurred right after they formally meet each other. He also gets testy with Sara for asking questions about his life and what he does.


Another thing about mortal women: They ask a lot of questions. Which can prove to be a challenge when you're trying to avoid telling the truth.

p163, Fated



Ugh. This is a part of why I find Fabio so pathetic and whiny. He should expect that Sara would ask questions about him. Why would she not?


It's true that I've had a few dalliances with human women over the past five thousand years or so. Up until about twelve thousand years ago, man was still evolving from his apelike ancestors. You really didn't want to get involved with Paleolithic women. Trust me. They didn't call t the Stone Age for nothing. Even early Neolithic women weren't much to look at. Sometimes you still couldn't tell the difference between males and the females. And none of them looked as good in a mammoth-skin bikini as Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.

You pretty much stayed away form hominid women until the Greek civilization began to rise around 3000 B.C. After that, human women started to look pretty good.

p64, Fated



Ugh. Now are you starting to see why I think Fabio is such an ass?

All the other characters aren't any better. I do like the idea of personifying things like sins, emotions, and attributes, but the author hardly develops these characters. Gluttony is just a fat, hungry man? C'mon you got to give me something better than that. The only character that I thought had some original spin to it was Death since he gets a little grossed out by his job and wears gloves and a particle mask. Yet, he didn't do that much in the story other than show up when people are dying.

And then there's Destiny. Her character aggravated me the most. I don't get why the author had to characterize her as a whore. Yeah. Just a whore. It's. Stupid. He could have made it so that Destiny and Fate have some kind of rivalry or something, but no, he makes Destiny a slut and the bad guy in this book. She even dresses in red, slutty outfits every time she appears. So yep, she's a slut, slut, slut and that's all that there is to her. Face meet palm.


While not inclined to wear fuck-me pumps like Destiny or parade around in lingerie like Lust, Temptation manages to exude more sexuality by revealing less. Just enough cleavage and a glimpse of an undergarment beneath the virgin white sundress that hides her figure, while at the same time hinting at the curves and wonders beneath the cotton fabric. But unlike the in-you-face sexuality of Lust and Destiny, Temptation never actually lets you get past first base. She's more of a cock tease.
p169, Fated



Yeah... why do women always got to be the ones to exude sexuality? Why not try to be original and try to use women and men equally? I don't get why these characters have to dress sexy in the first place. Lust, I could deal with, but why put it on Destiny and Temptation too? Is this supposed to be funny?

The writing isn't too bad, but it seems the author likes to use patterns in his writing style. In his zombie novel, Breathers, one pattern was the main character repeating "If you never [blankity blank], then you probably wouldn't understand." I tolerated that, and I even liked that book. In Fated, Fabio repeats things in threes. It's annoying, because it's abused and found everywhere in the book, and it doesn't add any voice to the character.

Now about the ending. It turns out that Fabio is born again as the next messiah. I thought this would have been really clever, if it was done right. What was wrong was that there is hardly any buildup to it and as soon as it was revealed the book suddenly stops. What really bugs me though is that Sara gives birth to Fabio. And let me remind you that Sara was Fabio's girlfriend, the woman he had sex with throughout the entire book, and now she's his mother. Ick.

Cover Talk Bonus:
It's nice. I like how the 'T' is falling on the couple, because it fits with the disaster theme and goes along with the catchline, "Love's not a choice. It's a disaster." The colors give it a retro look, which I like.